bella, i have always loved u.i may not physical,
i will always love u.
i cant deny that.
i can never ever deny the fact that you are the girl that i love so much.
you may say that you are not beautiful, sweet, cute,etc,
but to me you are forever are.
and there are other qualities that shines.
it may not be physical but something that lies within.
you may not realise but it's the fact.
im just missing you greatly right now.
and the thoughts of you leaving me is back.
the insecurities is here.
i cant do anything right now.
everything now is in your hands.
i guess its too late to say anything.
bye.tc.

why are the past bugging me?
where are the words to start anew?
i've succeeded to turn over a new leaf like finally.
but, someone obviously dont think so.
its just so heartbreaking when the words come from the one you love dearly.
its like smashing a glass pane with a construction hammer.
what should i do?
what should i do other than to prove that i've changed?
i know that's not enough.it's never enough.
when i told her the truth, she cant accept it but she want to know about it.
i just dont understand.
if i kept it as a secret, we quarrel.and if i dont, we quarrel too.
what should i do?
im lost..
everything dawns to me that what happens in this relationship are all my fault.
yes, i know that.bt aren't i making use of this chance to prove that im unlike before?
way unlike before.
nvm,if u already chose to give up on this relationship because of me,
just go ahead.
'let me bear all the pain.im ready to face it.
though its painful.
i have to accpt the consequences.
no running away.

what have i done wrong?
yes, i was with my friends.i replied late.
im sorry.but why musnt i cntct u till u cntct me?
isnt that too harsh??
at least when we pause, we still cntct each other.
sigh.
pls tell me straight if i have done wrong.
you never wanted to tell me anything.
sigh.
how i hope to be a better listening ear.
i just felt not up to your standard.
am i not a good boyfriend?
what more should i do?
when she talked about norfi in her blog, i was shooting up.
and that shows she still cntct him.isit?
just tell the truth.
i dont want to wait anymore. i want to go on.
i want to move.
i want us to move together.
move together as a whole.